�It offends my roommate that you stay with a girlfriend cuz she has such a hard time dating�
�Well...I'm sorry that my success is so disturbing�
�Well I can understand it...how do you constantly find people who want to be with you?�

This is an actual private chat conversation that I had with a friend of mine back in February. I actually had to sit back and think about this for a few months before I even addressed it in any form. Someone is actually offended that women like me? I mean, you see it there as plain as day. She�s OFFENDED. Like I stood up and told a whole slew of Pollok jokes, or said that all Jews were the spawn of Satan and deserved death or that women should be barefoot and pregnant. She�s offended. I wonder, how should the fact that I get laid is offensive to someone affect me?
Well, first thing I had to find out was why it was offensive. I found out that my friend�s roommate feels that since I don�t have a traditional job (meaning that I�m broke more often than not), that I live at home with my mom, have no car, and have serious babymamadrama, women ought to look at me as though I have a huge neon sign over my head that flashes �KEEP AWAY� continuously. Especially since, as is spelled out up there in the conversation, she has a hard time dating. I guess since she�s a nice looking woman with a job, an apartment (even though she is sharing it), a car, and no children, men ought to be beating down her door. However, this is not happening. And since I, despite all of my shortcomings, seem to be falling into pussy left and right, this is offensive. Even my friend is baffled as to why I seem to find women who�re willing to be with me romantically. Exactly why is that? Why are women willing to be with me? What special talent do I have or secret that I know that makes women flock to me like pigeons to bread crumbs?
Well, its simple if you really wanna get down to it. I�m MYSELF. I don�t put on airs. I don�t try to run game. I don�t try to be a pimp or a playa. In the words of Tupac, I don�t have to lie to kick it. I tell a woman that I meet up front any and every thing that she needs to know about me. There are plenty who can�t or are unwilling to look past my flaws. Know what I do about them? NOTHING!!!! Fuck em. I refuse to beg a woman to like me. I did that one time, and it didn�t work because the bitch just didn�t want me.
But there are women out there who actually look at me and like what they see. True, many times its just for pure physical lust and wanton desire�but hey, who am I to deny a woman what she wants? Some of these women just want their backs cracked and their toes curled a little. Its really not much more complicated than that. As for the ones who have expressed an interest in me on a deeper, non LGBNAF* way, I can only explain it like this.
They are able to see past what I don�t have and see what I do have. I have a career as a writer. Call me crazy, but I actually think I can make it at this here writing stuff and it keeps me VERY busy. I also have a job as a Community Health Advocate, trying to get black women to take better care of themselves. I�ll never get rich doing it, but at least its rewarding. So I can�t afford a nice fancy car or a dinner at an upscale restaurant all the time. So I am staying with my mom for a moment (Well, its been more than a moment, but its not like I�m planted here.). So I do have babymamadrama and I can�t afford to pay the Hit man what he was charging to take care for that for me. At least I�m fun to be around and I have a pleasant heart.
Maybe that�s what my friend and her roommate need to concentrate on. Instead of wondering why women like me, maybe they oughta figure out why they can�t keep a man. Cuz I can assure that me getting laid has absolutely NOTHING to do with that.